Saturday, June 17, 2017

Father's Day and What it Means to Me

I didn't really grow up with a father in my life. My dad died before I was 8 years old. And the years preceding this were not that great. I don't think we ever celebrated a Father's Day with my dad. My mom re-married when I was 10. He wasn't the best step-father for many, many years. So I don't really remember celebrating many Father's Days with him either.

While I was married, the first time, most of the first years my ex was in the Navy and away from home. And the next years were a bit on the traumatic side. So who wants to celebrate anything with a man who never got the entire concept of what being a father really meant.

Then along came Richard. He walked into our lives and instantly my kids were his kids. They weren't always the greatest years. Richard was strict. But he loved my boys. He was generous. Sometimes to a fault. He was caring. And it almost always showed. My sons knew and loved him as the only father they ever had. We miss him but we continue to honor his memory by thinking of him daily.


23 comments:

  1. I think it takes a special person to father another man's child and to do it as well as Richard did. My mom didn't date after my dad died when she was only 38 years old and raising 3 kids on her own because she didn't think it was fair for another man to raise another's children (she also missed my dad daily for the rest of her life; one true love, never wanted another).

    I haven't always been the best of moms and my husband hasn't always been the best of dads, but one thing I can say about him is he is incredibly faithful and will get the job done, no matter what it involves. His diligence of providing well all our married life and continuing to do so, including a 100 mile daily commute, truly amazes me.

    It was hard when the kids were younger to balance parenting. I didn't have a father growing up, so I was raised by my mom alone. I wasn't used to the give and take perhaps that would be with a father and mother in a home. Took a bit to work on that and to let him be the head of the household.

    betty

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    1. I agree that it does take a special man to become the father of another man's kids. Both of my older brothers adopted their wives kids and became their fathers. I can totally understand your mom's feelings about not marrying again. I won't either. There will never be another Richard for me! It always was a struggle for me to let Richard be the head of the household too!!

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  2. So glad you were able to find a good man and celebrate Fathers Day with meaning. My DDH was a good man too and he loved his family and his family loved him too. Wishing you a Happy Fathers Day too filled with wonderful Memories.

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    1. Yes we had quite a few good Father's Days. Although he never really liked to celebrate anything that put him at the center of attention.

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  3. Hi Paula - so sad people's lives go the way they do ... thank goodness for Richard and for your family ... you were blessed to have him with you ... with thoughts - Hilary

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    1. It is sad but it makes us who we are today!! I am blessed to have had Richard in my life!

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  4. Richard certainly became an excellent father to your sons. My father was not a good man though he insisted on us doing something for him on Father's Day. I am fortunate to be married to an excellent father and now grandfather.

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    1. Thank goodness you found a good man to be the father and grandfather to your loved ones!

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  5. I'm so glad you found a good father for your children. Did you see the tribute Steve Harvey's kids gave him? It was beautiful!

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    1. I did not see the Steve Harvey tribute. I will have to goggle it!

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  6. How I'd have loved to have known your Richard! This reminds me of that great song, 'Saved the Best for Last.' Personally, I'm not so fond of either Mothers or Fathers Day ... there's so many expectations, and unintentional heartache.

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    1. I wish you could have met him Myra. I know you and he would have had a good time getting to know each other. We aren't really big into Mother's and Father's Day either!

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  7. Hi Paula,
    I'm so glad that Richard found his way to you and that you were able to experience a good man and a good father. I know the wait was worth it. I know you loved him so dearly. It's a tough day, this holiday. I'm finding out for the first time...

    Michele at Angels Bark

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    1. I thought about you and this year's Father's Day! Sending you a hug!

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  8. I'm glad you finally found someone to make this a good day.

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  9. I love when you talk about Richard. I feel like I know him.

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    1. Oh Kwiz. That makes me so happy! Thank you!

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  10. Thanks for sharing. I really appreciate how you write about Richard. He sounds like a wonderful man. Father's Day can be difficult. This is the first Father's Day without my dad around. Thankfully, I have so many good memories of him. He was a wonderful dad. And today, besides being thankful for a husband who is a great father, I get to celebrate my son being a father for the first time. That makes it a a pretty special day.

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    1. I know that you missed your dad! It was a bittersweet day for us too!

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  11. So happy that you and your family found Richard and the meaning of what a father truly can be.

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  12. Sounds like Richard was a gift you and your family needed.

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