Saturday, July 8, 2017

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**K-A book Review

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Mansons  In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Mason doesn't sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

I listened to this book on Audible. I don't even know why I bought it. Probably the title grabbed my attention. And I would like to learn how not give a f**k more often.

I liked this book. It wasn't a book about how to see everything in such a positive way. I come from the group of believers who see the cup 'half empty' instead of 'half full'. All the sunshine and roses type of people kind of turn me off. Everything can't be so wildly great all the time. And blaming the person for not thinking positive when bad crap is happening to them is just wrong.

I have seen what giving participation medals to all the kids have done to a generation. No one ever tells them they are not good at something. Or that there isn't anything they can't do. Some people just can't play baseball. So why encourage a kid to do it and then insist they get a medal if they suck at it?  Kids are usually smart enough to know they aren't any good.Heck I have sat through my share of sporting events where they don't even keep score. Because we don't want to damage any little psyches if they lose the game. I don't feel we are helping kids become better adults by teaching them that kind of BS. I can remember getting a note from a teacher stating they would no longer grade a paper with red ink because it did not send out positive vibes. What the heck?? Since when has the color red had anything to do with negativity??

So I enjoyed this book! The stories are funny. Some of them are sad. All of them are REAL!

I give this book ***!

18 comments:

  1. Since you asked... and I am trying to tread lightly.
    I don't want to give a f**k either, about a lot of things that seem like big deals. But, as the wife of a Soccer Coach, I will say this, having watched from the sidelines as this all unfolded:
    When you are dealing with small kids, I think the little trophies are great. It doesn't last as incentive for very long at all but it is very pleasant for rewarding their efforts and making them into a working TEAM.
    By the time that it came to take the team to the juniors, one of the parents of a so called "star" player on our husband's team was so aggressively into the game, that she dissed my husband as not being competitive enough. Her girl was a nice kid who ended up nowhere because she was made so aggressive.
    Another of the girls who was pushed by a soccer dad later became so aggressive that she was unemployable.
    There has to be a happy medium. Neither of these girls ever came anywhere near getting a scholarship. My advice to such people, is this. Get out there yourself and play it. And get off your kids' backs.

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    1. Well I wasn't a soccer coach so I wouldn't be able to speak on that with authority. But I have raised two sons and two grandkids that weren't given any favors by not keeping score. Never knowing who won or lost. And they knew when they were given a trophy for just showing up that it wasn't the same as winning first place. I don't think it is ever a good thing to teach kids to play with aggression but that is just my opinion. I argued that out with a high school football coach once and I'm afraid I lost. I loudly second your advice to parents to get off their kids backs!! Good to see you Zippi!

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  2. This title cracks me up!
    I've not given 'participation trophies' much thought ... but you've a sound point, sending our young men and women out in the Big Bad World, woefully unprepared.

    On the other hand! When I worked with the mentally handicapped (akin to Special Olympics), I was so happy to witness EVERYone's delight at receiving a ribbon.
    (... but that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.)

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  3. Interesting book; I might have to read it sometime. Little ones need encouragement and kuddos with ribbons/trophies. As they grow and mature, they do need to realize not everyone is going to be good enough to place and get a ribbon or trophy in all things. I think it helps us then go for that which we think we can do good at and try to excel there rather than be involved in lots of things and merely participating.

    betty

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    1. I wonder at what age we should quit giving them trophys and ribbons and tell them 'good job' just because they participated! I see so many adults still trying to figure out that maybe they aren't good at what they've been told they are good at all their lives!

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  4. Hi Paula - can see what you're saying ... fortunately my glass is half full - but do nothing if in doubt ... don't open your mouth, or write things down ... good to be reminded though - the title would put me off here ... cheers Hilary

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    1. LOL! I imagine the title would put some off!

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  5. Hi Paula,
    Ever since you mentioned this book a few posts ago, I've put it on my To Be Read List. About the trophy situation: I can only relate via a personal story from my childhood: I can't remember exactly how old I was at the time, maybe 10, 11 12?? I was on the neighborhood softball team but right from the beginning I had an injury and couldn't play all season. At the end of the season, to my surprise, I was also given a trophy. And I have to say: that trophy didn't mean anything to me. I felt as if I didn't deserve it. I didn't! I didn't play in one game! So I never felt quite right about it. It made me feel icky.
    I wonder if the kids who get trophies and haven't earned them feel the same way that I felt back then?

    Interesting topic for sure. I'll have to check out Audible. I've listened to audio books before but never used the Audible service.

    Have a great Sunday!

    Michele at Angels Bark

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    1. I don't know how I would have felt about getting a trophy if I didn't participate. That wasn't happening in my day. And we kept score at our games And if you lost you just dealt with it. It is an interesting topic. And I can see what the author is trying to say. Everything is not all rosy all the time. Many bad things going on in this world. Why would we try to see the positive in something there is obviously nothing positive to see. My opinion!

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  6. I agree with you on giving everyone a trophy, just doesn't make sense to me and I feel it makes them the wrong idea about life.

    I try to be a "half full" person. But, it's impossible to not be depressed or negative when you're going through something bad. Still, even through the darkest days, I try to remember that it could be worse.

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    1. It is hard to see how the darkest day will ever turn out anything positive. But it usually brightens as you come out on the other side. There are somethings that are the worse!! All some things to think about!

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  7. Hah....sometimes we all need to say "I just don't give a f**k" and listen to a fun book.

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  8. I had a teacher in jr high who graded in green ink because of the red ink thing. And that was before this became a thing.

    I think it depends on the kid. And it's nice to not have to be positive all the time. The pendulum swung too far towards the happy/positive movement. A lot of that stuff I see the value in, but like in many things, we the people took things way too far.

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    1. Yes, I agree. Being positive all the time is exhausting!!

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  9. Sounds an interesting read. It's definitely hard to be positive all the time. Sometimes things are hard and it's counterproductive to just gloss over them. But then I'm a glass half empty sort of person too.

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    1. It is very hard for me to stay positive all the time. Especially when things are going on!

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I love to hear what you might think. Leave me a comment. I guarantee though that I will delete your comment if you are just here to cause trouble. So tread lightly!